Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
BRING THE BAGELS
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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