Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
bring money and cleavage
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
