so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
