we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
