that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am full of burrito and curiosity
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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