I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
