Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
