The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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