But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
