this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
