I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
