too bad you live with your parents still
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
