Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
