Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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