Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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