I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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