so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I enjoy the company of your penis
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