She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
