apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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