When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
did you just send me my own nude
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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