absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
