So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
