I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize