Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Semen is not good for contacts.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
