some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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