The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
