i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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