btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
