I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i will never coherently bang her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
