Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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