he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize