i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
