I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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