He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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