You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
