the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
