420 ftw
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
