guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
