I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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