Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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