So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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