she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
