Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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