maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
