So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
