Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sober January is a disaster.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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