Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
