So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
