Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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