just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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