If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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