Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize