Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
