I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
