just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
