I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize