i jhust puked up my retainher.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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