We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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