so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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