they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
