First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it was like eating out sand paper
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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