Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
BRING THE BAGELS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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